When I hear someone say “I’m bad with computers, can you help me with this?” I cringe. I cringe hard. I don’t think they realise what they sound like.
Are you also terrible with using running water? Towels? Telephones? Light switches? Are there any other integral parts of modern life that you haven’t figured out yet? ¹
Computers are not a skillset that you can be bad or good at. They are so entrenched in our every day life that to be unable to perform basic task in a timely manner on a computer is so absurd that I don’t have words for it. It’s a basic failure to develop yourself.
If you’re a typical white collar mid-level office worker, chances are that greater than half of your day is spent on a computer. You’re probably regularly using Excel spreadsheets, you’re using Microsoft Word to type up any form of text document, you’re exchanging PDFs with co-workers and clients, and you probably use some sort of email client for regular emails.
Let’s take an absurdly simple task as an example. You have some files in a folder, and you want to move some of those files into a new subfolder, while keeping others where they are. If you’re remotely competent with a computer, you select the ones you want to move, and you cut and paste them into the new folder. Total time taken, maybe ten seconds. And most of that time is taken up with deciding which files are to be moved.
For our “haha I’m bad with computers” hero, they would make a new folder and drag each file one by one. At some point, they will probably put the wrong file into the new folder, at another point they’ll accidentally copy a file instead of move it, or create a shortcut to it and move the shortcut. And they’ll be there until 7pm doing this. ²
As a man in his late twenties, I fully recognize that I have an advantage over many older people in the corporate world, because I grew up with computers that were more or less the same as the ones we have in offices now. Those born before me remember a workplace without computers at all. Those born after me will be growing up with touchscreens instead of keyboards and mice.
My contemporaries and I were born at just the right time to be conversant in pretty much every aspect of current technology, and as such we take for granted what is no doubt a non-trivial thing to learn. My computer skills are no more or less impressive than anyone else of my age or generation, but in comparison to a significant number of people I have worked with, I’m a veritable computer hacker. ³
But if I have to explain the concept of double clicking to another grown-ass man tomorrow, 4 I think there will probably be some consequences. If I have to look over and see a fully functioning adult human right clicking to copy and paste, I can’t be responsible for my actions.
¹ – I once met a man who swore up and down he had never seen a movable bollard before. The bollard retracted into the ground to let a car out and he nearly fell over. I had no words.
² – And get a pat on the back for “burning the candle at both ends”. I almost wish I could reassure you that this wasn’t a real anecdote.
³ – Every time I use CTRL+C and CTRL+V to copy and paste, you would think I had just parted the Red Sea from the looks that I get.
4 – For the eighteenth time this week. Not that I’m counting. 5
5 – I’m totally counting.
The Angry Australian 